Substitute Teacher Quiz

When I was a teenager, I loved taking the quizzes in magazines. That's the first thing I would do, in fact, each time I got my subscription in the mail. (Who doesn't want to find out if they are too controlling...or if they wear too much makeup...or if their crush likes them?) So in honor of those pastime quizzes, I'd like to put one out there for you all. We'll call this one, "Should I Really be Substitute Teaching?"

1. If a student throws a paper airplane at you before you even introduce yourself to the class, you would:
a) pull out your bullhorn and say, "Drop and give me twenty!"
b) say, "Sweet! How did you make that?"
c) take the student aside to tell them it wasn't appropriate and you require more respect.

2. When the teacher next door to you says, "Wow...good luck today" your first thought is:
a) "Oh yeah? Meet me behind the dumpsters after school and we'll see how much luck I need."
b) "I'm outta here!"
c) "I don't need luck. Have you seen my game face?"

3. The principal peeks into your classroom before lunchtime. Your students would likely be:
a) writing on the board 50 times, "I will not breathe without permission. I will not breathe without permission. I will not breathe without permission."
b) hanging from the light fixtures and screaming, "Revolution!"
c) in the middle of a Q&A session, wanting to know how you got to be such an awesome teacher.

4. You see on your daily schedule that you are on recess duty today. And lunch duty. And bus duty. You're thinking:
a) "These kids are going to be nuts! Better bring my bull whip."
b) "No wonder the teacher wanted a substitute today. I'll be hiding in the bathroom if anyone needs me."
c) "Man, I love my job!"

5. A student comes to ask you for help with their math. They are likely to hear you say:
a) "Get back in your seat and figure it out!"
b) "Uh...that's not really in my job description."
c) "Sure, but try it two ways on your own first. I'll be walking around the class in a minute and I'll come check your progress."

6. At lunchtime, the other teachers can probably find you:
a) sharpening your machete.
b) napping in the nurse's office.
c) in the teacher's lounge with them. No way you're missing out on the good gossip!

7. When your class is doing their silent reading, they will see you:
a) writing up a detention slip for the kid who asked why you're so grumpy.
b) rummaging through the teacher's desk for food.
c) reading, of course.

8. When the bell rings to dismiss the students at the end of the day, your gut tells you to:
a) chase them out and leave a note for the permanent teacher giving her a piece of your mind.
b) take off and leave the room a disaster. Oh, and leave a note thanking the teacher for the muffin you found in her desk.
c) leave a note for the teacher about the school day and make sure the room is as clean as you found it. Otherwise, they won't invite you back!

9. One of the main reasons you're not a full-time teacher is because:
a) corporal punishment isn't allowed in schools...you wouldn't know how else to discipline.
b) it conflicts with your napping schedule.
c) you like the variety and spontaneity a substitute has. Plus you don't have to grade papers.

10. If you were allowed to, you would bring this to school each day you substitute taught:
a) my nun-chucks
b) my hammock
c) donuts for my students. Man, I love them!

Results:

Mostly A's: It seems the substitute teaching environment is too unpredictable and capricious for your taste. You would probably thrive better in a profession that is more controllable like, say, the military. Come on...be honest...deep down you know you love to hear "Sir, yes sir!"

Mostly B's: Substitute teaching isn't for everyone and you probably don't love your job. When you're too easy on the students and don't challenge yourself, you become bored. You might want to try your hand at laying by the pool or golf, perhaps. Just don't strain yourself.

Mostly C's: You are definitely in the right profession! It's apparent that you are flexible but aren't a pushover. Students and teachers respect your authority and you genuinely enjoy your job...most days. ☺